george carlin quotes

How can He be perfect? To become successful, you will need an element of self-belief. Others see it half empty. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. And I didn't really care in the first place. Which Private Equity ETF Should You Invest In?
George Carlin was a stand-up comedian, actor, author, social critic, and amateur philosopher. I put a dollar in a change machine. Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. You are only truly a success if you have done something that is noticed by others, and if you have made some fantastic memories along the way.

If you only ever think the same way everyone else, you will only achieve the same success as the average person. Top George Carlin Quotes by quotesgems. I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. In his hilarious performances, he said many things that people now use as inspirational and motivational quotes. There is always the risk of defending yourself and thinking you are always right while dismissing the under achievements of others and mocking those who have done better in life. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. That’s the problem.” ― George Carlin, “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” ― George Carlin. “If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.” ― George Carlin, “Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. The Traveler’s Guide to Hiking in Olympia, WA, The Traveler’s Guide to Hiking in Ecuador, The 20 Best Things to do in Ecuador For First Timers, The Five Best Cadillac Station Wagons of All-Time, Why 1957 Was a Significant Year for Cadillac. And apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.” ― George Carlin, “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” ― George Carlin, “I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” ― George Carlin. Carlin is best known for his reflections on politics and his black humor. George Carlin was a stand-up comedian beyond compare. Deal with it. Here are 20 George Carlin quotes that apply to business. Having a successful business can lead to big things for you professionally and financially. God has a three-day weekend. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.” '” ― George Carlin, “When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. Uniformity will not make your business stand out, so it is vital that your business has features that differentiate it from others. The second time he was caught napping during combat training drill. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. The challenge is to find it.” ― George Carlin, “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” ― George Carlin, “I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Famous quotes by George Carlin on life, politics, marriage, education, kids and parents. Toothpicks? People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Others see it half empty. According to The Famous People, one of the top George Carlin quotes that apply to business is this one about making progress and not hitting a plateau.

He's not a cheese. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. It is possible to interpret this George Carlin quote as meaning to aim high to achieve things. During the times when things are not going well, things may seem bleak. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You must have enough belief in yourself to trust your own instincts stand firm in the decisions you make. This explains that although teamwork is important, what you can individually bring to a business is equally relevant. Enjoy this collection of George Carlin quotes on politics, religion, education, marriage, love and about life.

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?

If you cannot beat them, you should look for strategies to at least stand beside them to give you the potential to beat them in the future.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. You must identify the strengths and weaknesses of your team so that you can use their talents to your best advantage. Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

I think.

Laugh until you gasp for breath. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. These two institutions screw us up enough

One of the biggest challenges that businesses face is stand up to the competition, especially if there are bigger and more established businesses in your market. It can help you a lot. Currently, Lee is practicing the smidgen of Chinese that he picked up while visiting the Chinese mainland in hopes of someday being able to read certain historical texts in their original language. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. So, have a little fun. We are a nation of sheep, and I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.” ― George Carlin, “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.” ― George Carlin. The Buyer’s Guide to Getting a Vintage Tag Heuer Watch, The Top Five Tag Heuer Gold Watches of All-Time, The Five Best Tag Heuer 2000 Watches of All-Time, How Courtney Love Achieved a Net Worth of $100 Million, How Jon Taffer Achieved a Net Worth of $14 Million, How Anuel AA Achieved a Net Worth of $6 Million, How Tim Ferris Achieved a Net Worth of $100 Million. 45 Motivational Pablo Picasso Quotes About Art, Life, Motivational Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy, Love, Success, Eleanor Roosevelt Quotes On Fear, Inferior, Human Rights, Life, 45 Inspirational Pele Quotes & Sayings For Success In Life, 45 Inspirational George W Bush Quotes For Success In Life, 50 Motivational Robert Frost Quotes For Success, 70 Inspirational Napoleon Hill Quotes for Success With Images, Self Education Quotes: Quotes On Self Study, 60 Inspirational Jealousy Quotes With Images, “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ― George Carlin, “The planet is fine. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. I was a loner as a child.

I have as much authority as the Pope. George Carlin [ Wikipedia ] was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, actor, writer, and an author who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums. Teach them to question everything.” ― George Carlin, “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” ― George Carlin, “So, have a little fun. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. Your email address will not be published.

It is part of the process of self-improvement, and it can help you to advance your business. He was America’s most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverant actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to…

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. Required fields are marked *. Don't give your money to the church. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin did more than make people laugh — he made them think. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? someone else owns the grass. Then you are at the right place, here we provide best collection of George Carlin Quotes. In this sense, it also means that you cannot measure your success by the money you make, but by whether you have enjoyed the journey or not.

That's the problem.

Occasionally, you may need to take a short break from work or slow down on your projects.

I'm completely in favor of the It seems only right. The people are fucked.” ― George Carlin, “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. There is no suggestion that you actually go out and cause violence to the competition, but you can apply this George Carlin quote to business in terms of standing up to the competition. Allen Lee is a Toronto-based freelance writer who studied business in school but has since turned to other pursuits.

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